If you haven't noticed by now, I've pretty much done everything short of deactivating my account. The FemaleMuscleLibrary is gone, everything I have ever submitted is in storage, and I enabled blind to pageviews because pageviews are bullshit. I've packed up and am now truly putting deviantART behind me. Why do I not deactivate my account? And if I don't deactivate my account, why do I not simply delete all my submissions to prove I mean business? Good questions. I could just let you come up with a reason for both. One reason for the former, that it's NOT, is the possibility of me returning, because I can promise you I won't. One reason for the latter is I don't feel like going through every submission and manually delete them when I can select all of them several at a time and just put them on ice. I suppose if I had to give a reason for this particular course of action, is because I don't believe in burning down an account with very nearly 5 years of history to it.
Now the reason I'm more or less severing ties with deviantART as a whole is not the same reason others might do it. For me, I'm getting older. I'll be 36 by the end of August. My tastes have shifted since then to other things. People change. I came here because of my love of female muscle and wanted to get in on the fandom. But after five years of it, my wanting to get (adequately) noticed and failing, all the bullshit drama with (from) wblstudios, and my aforementioned getting older, I decided to sever all ties with art sites. I was happy with Diana the Valkyrie because there were no stats, the emails I got were all the feedback I needed to be happy enough to really keep up the drive to keep going with the stories. There were no connections to other authors, so I didn't have to know how popular everyone else was to compare to myself; not to say I ever wanted to be popular in the strict sense. But I definitely hoped that my works got a little more feedback and faves than they did. In any case, it was my own space and I was blissfully unaware of anything else. It was all I needed. But then I was introduced to deviantART and FurAffinity and over the next few years, well...it just went downhill from there.
Suddenly, I desire to get more comments than the small handful I was lucky to get. I hoped for more faves than the barely dozen I was lucky to get. I became increasingly obsessed with getting noticed that it sapped that creative spark I once had. I lost sight of myself. Yes, there were good times, don't get me wrong. I had a good thing going with the FemaleMuscleLibrary. It got lots of members and pageviews, all things considered. I even became head of the FemaleMuscle group itself and was able to make a difference. There were definitely highlights of my tenure here. But looking back on all of this, I'm sorry to say but I just find myself feeling empty. I feel like in the grand scheme of things, it didn't really matter. I feel like someone who went corporate with a hobby, and that was what led to this.
Oh, and since I'm saying everything on my mind, let's not forget...
Actually, I'll use a metaphor for this. You know how the Batman has the Joker? Well RinjiPantera had wblstudios....oh sorry, wblunlimited. I'm Batman and WBL is the Joker. I stood for being fair to others, modesty, and courtesy. WBL, on the other hand, shamelessly requests hundreds of unknowing artists for the same character with the same details (biggest pecs in the universe or whatever), barely says "Nice!", and is quick to lash out at people who he perceives as hostile or trolling when they never meant to be. Any artists who don't produce something he is satisfied with, he doesn't just look the gift horse in the mouth...the mother fucker sticks his whole gawd damn head in it and looks down its throat! He is a greedy selfish upstart who has pretty much alienated himself from all the popular female muscle artists. Of course, he simply is on the perpetual lookout for new artists who come along and quickly get as many freebies as he can from them before they call him on his bullshit greediness. In short, WBL is a perpetual man-child with a self-deluded sense of self-righteousness who enjoys calling people out in public in his journals, thinking he's shaming them or "putting them in their place". The list of offenses with him is longer than the Great Wall of China.
Of course, it may sound like I have a lot of grievances with the loser, but I've moved on from him a long time ago. However, in chance encounters, I've had artists confide in me about his asshole nature when something completely harmless was said and wbl took it as a slight against him and deleted the comment and blocked the person. I'm sure his block list is longer than any other person on deviantART. I read that the limit is 500 people. I wouldn't be surprised if his is approaching that limit. I wonder what he'll do when he can no longer block anyone else? Of course, none of this is complete without mentioning the numerous journals he has posted about little old me. He's called me everything from a stalker to being gay for him. I laugh in his face everytime because absolutely NO ONE falls for his large steaming pile. I've made my position on him known long ago and he knows full well that I'd very much rather kick his teeth in than satisfy his projected desire for me to touch him any other way.
And now he's "leaving" deviantART as well, how ironic THAT is. Well I can definitely call bullshit on all of it because for someone who claims to be going through a midlife crisis, he still has time to go online and post comments about his many Leona Heidern requests that he keeps a list of to track his artists to make sure they're delivering what they "owe" him. I've seen it many times and it just disgusts me. I've seen someone draw something for him out of pity, and he practically spits in that artist's face because he didn't do a good enough job on it. And being the threat to him I was, he had taken to many ways of calling me out. He did a Phoenix Wright thing with a website to "respond" to something I said or did, but I never read any of it so I guess the joke's on him.
Rather than go on about someone who, frankly, was never worth my time to begin with, I'll just get to the point. Congratulations, WBL. A big part of my leaving deviantART is because of you. Cancerous tumors such as yourself had slowly killed off the fun of my being here. And now that cancer had reached terminal levels. This is actually the first time in years that I've said anything publicly about you. You may not ever know this journal is here or if you did, may claim to not read it in a lame attempt to spite me or make me feel like all this was for nothing. Truth is I could care less if you see this journal or not because I'm simply getting everything off my chest. Frankly, this whole hatred between me and WBL, is like the aforementioned Batman and Joker. This scene fits for this kind of thing:
Yes, I am basically insinuating that I too am a freak. But I'm a different kind of freak from him...anyway, that's hardly the point. The point is WBL had gotten away with so much shit and caused so much drama before enough people blocked HIS ass, turning him into a pariah...even though he twists it to make it sound like they're cowards for not saying something to his face when he blocks them first to prevent that but comes out of hiding to drop a comment and then reblock them before they can respond. I don't believe for one moment that he's going anywhere. But really, it doesn't matter anymore. All I say here about him, I'm sure doesn't matter to anyone else either. I say this because I can. So to WBL I say this: Anyone with half a brain won't believe a word you say. So you go right ahead and talk trash towards me and do your worst. Because in the grand scheme of things...nobody cares. Your misguided sense of "justice" is just a bad joke. I feel nothing but sympathy for all the future artists who come to deviantART only to have to put up with your persistent nagging over getting request after request of the same boring thing. I should know, you did it to me more than once before I cast you out of my page. But whatever, I'm going back to where I was happy. dA doesn't cater to story writers nearly as much as they do artists and that's the truth.
In time, be it days, weeks, or maybe months, I'll deactivate this account and that'll be that. I don't expect anyone to say anything. Some of you may even think I'm just blowing smoke. Others probably think I'm putting on a front when in fact I'll be sticking around as a lurker. But no, deviantART was a mistake for me. The only thing that was worthwhile was my friends and watchers. Those of you who supported me were the only bright spot of this place.
So that's that. I've put all my submissions in storage and pulled all the widgets from my front page save this one. FML is gone and I've removed myself from all groups. So with all that said...it's been fun...or not.